coolROM: the CYOA

[chaos master]

ok, this is not my original idea either, just passing on a game to see how it fares on this site...

CYOA (n.)- stands for "choose your own adventure" the way the game is played is I, as the thread maker, will make a beginning to a story. Then i make a couple of choices as to where the story could go next. The first person to post a choice will determine which one is selected.

let us begin...



You wake up one day, wasted as usual. The alarm clock\radio reads 6:00 AM as it blares annoying pop music into your skull as you struggle to retain conciousness.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

A. go to work, you lazy bum!
B. call in sick from work, you lazy bum!

[chaos master]

I will write the entire story, you just have to post what you choose.

[Ex Dark]

i chose A....soooooo.....???

[chaos master]

You force yourself to get dressed and stumble out of the house. When you get in your car, you realize you have forgotten where you work.

WHERE DO YOU WORK?

A. fast food guy
B. international spy
C. coolROM.com admin
D. a dinosaur
E. a butcher

[luclicane]

OHHHHHH D AND AND AND C (dinosaur that works at coolrom.om)

[chaos master]

remembering that you are a dinosaur that works on coolROM.com, you stumble back into the house and go into your home office. After 25 minutes, your comp is finally booted (a new best time!) you log on to coolROM.com and put on your dinosaur suit. you stop by general chat and notice a troll makin' some trouble. after he insults your dinosaur duds, you feel on the verge of emotional breakdown

WHAT DO YOU DO?

A. violently murder him with an uzi
B. cry forever (well, almost)
C. tell everyone at myspace with godspeed
D. kick him... *ahem*... "down there"
E. GET NAKED!

[Grimace]

e

nakedness answers all!

[chaos master]

you tear off your clothes in a rage! seizing the opportunity, you start a video chat with the troll. using your wonderful pc camera, you successfully moon the troll from hundreds of miles away. you feel quite good about yourself now.

WHAT DO YOU DO NOW?

A. commit suicide
B. date your girlfriend
C. go play games
D. mess with the old people who live across the street

[Iceman]

You do D then A

[chaos master]

You decide to mess with the old people that are conveniently located across the street. You silently pick their front door lock and sneak in. You go to the kitchen and, sensing that you are hungry, you decide to make your self a sandwhich. Since it is an impossiblilty to eat without a T.V., you sit down next to the old lady watching the news. With your keen perception, you realize that the news is boring. You change it the channel to mindless cartoons. The old lady tries to take back the remote, but you lift one leg up and blow her clear off the couch with your flatulance. Through the newly formed hole in the wall, the lady calls for her husband to bring the shotgun. Rather than risking getting shot, you commit suicide by suffocating yourself with a pillow (yes, you learned that from video games. :D )

You come to in a very unpleasant fiery place. Satan is poking you with a stick.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

A. violently murder him with an uzi
B. eat the crusty tortilla chip that is in your pocket
C. take the convenient portal back home
D. slap him

[Fantasymoon]

Answer Is D:d

[chaos master]

You give Satan a mighty slap. He recoils and starts bawling. This gives you enough EXP to level up! You feel 100 times stronger and you rip open a portal back home. You are now back in your house.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

A. sit around
B. walk around downtown
C. go to the arcade
D. have some delicious waffles

[Iceman]

First I have to post 10 characters to sumbit this message to say C

[chaos master]

you go to the arcade. After blowing a couple hundred dollars on Time Crisis 3, your stress is quite relived, as is your wallet. As soon as the staff find out you have no money left, they shoot you with automatic bean bag combat shotguns, which propel you out the door. Enraged, you pick up a rock and hurl it back into the arcade. It bounces across multiple games, breaking stuff along the way. Finally, it shoots into the manager's throat and chokes him to death. Words cannot express how sadistically happy you feel. A worker comes looking for you, but you are already long gone by that time.

It is now at nightfall.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

A. go to the beach
B. sleep on a bench, hobo style
C. steal an airplane and travel to a far-off land
D. go home and sleep

[Elric]

C Sly Cooper style

[chaos master]

You walk over to the airport. Many tourists come to your city, so it is easy to slip past security in the crowded halls. You make it onto the tarmac and sneak into a small two seater plane. Of course, with your vast intellect, it is easy to take off. You take a last look at the city you grew up in.

WHERE DO YOU FLY?

A. Into outer space
B. out to sea
C. into the mountains
D. into the hills

[TecraMan82]

self control is good

[TecraMan82]

its unsafe to fly but mountains look cool from high, choose C

[chaos master]

You fly towards the mountains. The view is quite spectacular as you fly into the sunrise. You put the plane on autopilot and get some sleep. After awhile, something jostles you awake. You look down to see that 50 Cent and Eminem are shooting anti-aircraft missles at you.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

A. shoot your lasers at them
B. parachute out of the plane
C. cry
D. pass gas

[Iceman]

C and D, you cry well you pass gas

[savking]

tut i wana go

[chaos master]

tut, im tired now, I'll let u wait till tomorrow

[chaos master]

Ok, here it is:

You begin to cry and pass gas as deadly missiles are shot at your plane. Of course, this helps in no way, shape, or form. Being rapperz, Fitty and Eminiem have much experience with firearms!! They shoot down your plane quite quickly. Your pathetic, crying, gassy, gravity affected body tumbles toward the Earth. You land at your assassins' feet.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

A. Beg for mercy
B. go Bruce Lee/Jackie Chan on their arses
C. go to McDonald's
D. run REALLY fast!!
E. uber energy cry
F. GET NAKED!

[cherko]

Can I pick 3? F, E, B!

[savking]

i swear im never gona get a go, need to get up earlyer

[chaos master]

You disrobe, as do your opponents. Your combined power gives the area an eerie glow. 50 Cent tosses a quarter at your noggin, which wipes out more than half of your life points. Your tension meter fills, and you release the deadly uber energy cry. The sound waves make the rappers clutch their ears and recite every dirty word they have ever known and also invent some new ones. All of you are now enraged, and your power raises the temperature over 7,000 degrees Fairenheit!! In less then half a second, you go from 0 to 367 mph as you lunge at them. They block, and their counter comes so fast, the fabric of time is stressed keeping up and the Universe suffers tremendous lag. The stress on your bodies is becoming to much and you feel like your are being torn apart from the inside, yet stopping at all would mean certain death.

Suddenly, you hear some sirens. Apparently, it is illegal for 3 naked men to fight in the mountains. 50 Cent and Eminem break away, just narrowly missing your attack that could have crippled them. You hear, "We'll finish this later, poop head!" They run away REAL fast so you can't catch them.

The police begin to fire at you and you dive behind a rock.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

A. insult the police
B. violently murder them all with an uzi
C. call the ghostbusters!!
D. GET NAKED!
E. fail the test

[cherko]

C. Call the ghostbusters and B. Violently murder them (the ghostbusters) with an uzi.

[chaos master]

You call the ghostbusters. Tey arrive and blast the copperz with their funkedelic theme song. The sound waves push the officers of a cliff and into the 3rd aisle of a convenience store situated below. As the captain lands on a stack of jars and get thousands of glass shards in his body, he mutters, "convenience my ***"

You emerge from the rock and walk towards the ghostbusters, who have already begun smoking pot. You take out an uzi and cover it with a small towel. You challenge your saviours to guess what is underneath the towel. As soon as the first participent gets it wrong, you shoot him to death. You repeat the process until there is only one left, an elderly man who is named "Rosco." He informs you that he isn't allowed to make a decision without his wife and walks slowly over to a phone booth.

You wait patiently as the man shuffles over to the phone, but after 6 hours, you cannot stand it any longer. You point your towel out him and shoot, but before you even complete that action, the old man jumps into the air and blasts you in the chest with a shotgun. You are overcome by pain and fall to the ground.


You awaken at the legendary city of El Dorado (because Satan rejected you) The doctors see you have regained consciousness and inform their Queen. They return shortly, and dress you (you were still in the nude from your previous battle.) Sporting a new tux, you have dinner with the Queen and her servants.

WTF DO YOU DO NOW?!?!?
A. cry for your mother (Satan)
B. cut the cheese very loudly and repeatedly throughout the dinner
C. marry the Queen and gain ultimate power and wealth
D. none of the above

[savking]

hmmm a triky one but at long last i finaly get a go so im going with "D: none of the above"

[chaos master]

you do absolutley nothing interesting at the dinner. You eat, use the potty, and are transported back to the mountains. You feel an intense sadness of wasted opportunity. It is now around midnight.

WHAT U DO?
A. eat dirt
B. sit there and get eaten by wolves
C. construct a television set
D. burn you tuxedo to make a smoke signal for help

[savking]

right well seeing as my last choice was resulted in an EXTREMLY boring final product im goin with an unbeatable cobination for sucses here
D and B please

[chaos master]

what was wrong with doing nothing? ;)

You get naked once more and burn your tux to make a distress signal. Of course, no one excpet you is stupid enough to fly into the mountains, so you don't expect immediate help.

Eventually, laziness sets in and you lose the will to survive.

Due to the high randomosity levels of this particular mountain range, in less than a second, you are pounced on by a giant wolf and swallowed whole.

You are now inside a giant wolf. Good goin'!

WHAT U GONNA DO?
A. take over its brain and use it as an indestructable killing machine
B. travel along its digestive tract
C. kick it... *ahem*... "down there" from the inside
D. take out your laptop and consult the coolROM forums for help
E. watch a chick flick (the onboard movie)

ATTENTION!! I don't personally mind if you pick a choice 2 or more times in a row, just don't hog the turns...

[savking]

Blatently
A

[chaos master]

you go into the wolf's cranium and enter the door on its brain labeld "employees only" (you dog, you!) You violently murder the humble office worker there and take his position at the control panel. You march into town and get SIX stars!! when the tanx come, they shoot at you! Unfortunately, this giant wolf has enjoyed a diet of pure candy, so it's HP is dreadfully low. your wolf crumbles to dust after only 500 tank shellz.

You are now in the middle of town with six wanted stars and no weapons.
You must be a professional.

WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO BE DOING NOW?
A. GET 2 DA CHOPPAH!!
B. smack yourself in the behind
C. GOLD!!
D. get a handgun from a sleeping hobo and take out the entire army
E. sue everyone for pain and suffering
F. call Jack Black
G. ULTIMATE CRY!!

[savking]

nothin wrong wiv a bit of jack black!!!!
there fore F will be my choice

[chaos master]

You call Jack Black. He makes his entrance in a drunken fashion by smashing a priceless pristine 70's vehicle into a fire hydrant, tumbling out, and "stealthfully" joining you in the bushes. On the way, he hits his head on one of your stars and knocks it down, making only the harmless FBI chase you. You explain your plan to escape the city to him, and when you finish, you turn to him to find he has been watching King Kong on his atomic bomb situated in his pocket. The wind begins to blow. Soon, Mickey Mouse jumps out of nowhere and kicks you both in the crotch, leaving you mentally scarred. This shock to your reproductive organs gives you an idea. You grab Mickey and drag him into a dark allyway.

Jack, in his drunken state, tries to close the door of the alleyway, but fails miserably. He lets out a frustated moan and collapses. After a few seconds, he is asleep and mumbling something about the "Nickelodeon's Kid's Choice Awards." An elderly woman walks by and pitifully drops a 20 dollar bill on his body. SCORE!!

Meanwhile, in the alleyway, you are finishing up violently murdering Mickey Mouse. You take his clothes. Instantly, your wanted level is reduced to zero!

What do you do now?

A. none of the above
B. have a child with Jack Black
C. try to succeed where Jack failed and close the allyway door
D. GOLD!!
E. Murder Jack (violently)
F. Murder Jack (mercifully)
G. try to forge a living out of the mean streets with Jack

[savking]

E
F
G
wheyy 151 post

[chaos master]

You murder Jack violently with a rusty dagger sharpened with Mickey's decomposing brain tissue. He grabs at your arm, but you keep thrusting and thrusting until all opposing force ceases. You think it was a little much; you want Jack to know that you want to be just friends. You ressurrect him and mercifully kill him by dropping a canister of poison gas by his head to end his drunken suffering. After a few boring minutes of watching, the green cloud dissapates and you see Jack's lifeless body. You don't like the results and you just scrap the whole "murder Jack" idea and ressurrect him again.

You and Jack head down to the harbor and watch the sunrise. Your life has changed so much in the past few days, and now there is no turning back. All you have in the world is someone to watch your back and, of course, the occasional uzi. Where will you go next? Only you will tell...

--------------------
END OF CHAPTER 1
--------------------


You wake up, wasted as usual. Annoying pop music pierces your skull as your sundial reads 6:00 AM. This time, the music is coming from Jack, bathing in a puddle of dirty water and singing really badly. It takes you a minute to get your bearings and realize that you are back in the alleyway, with the familiar sight of Mickey Mouse's dead body making it feel like home.

What u do?

A. go to the bathroom in Jack's puddle
B. construct a television
C. cry
D. go violently kill people for money ;)

[cherko]

Hmm... Booring choices... B.

[chaos master]

Since life is meaningless without television, you construct one out of dirt, rocks, and mickey's body parts.

You sit down and watch and watch and watch until you are uber hungry.
Jack is hungry, and his crying can attest to that.

YA GOTTA GET SOME FOOD, MAN!!! O_O

What nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

A. eat random people that walk by
B. eat mickey's body
C. go to the supermarket like a normal human being
D. drink Jack's puddle and hope he has given it nutrients
E. eat the crusty tortilla chip that is in your pocket
F. eat random dust particles (groundmeal)
G. murder yourself violently with and uzi to relieve the hunger
H. break back into El Dorado and raid their fridge
I. go to Prison Island and see if they got food there

[Leo D.]

I pick I.
The option.
I.

[chaos master]

You go down to the harbor with Jack and board a boat to Prison Island.

The journey takes several days, all with you dying of hunger and Jack getting mugged by dolphins.

Finally, you arrive. You get off the boat and take the tour, hoping they give out food. Of course, they don't, and at the end of the tour, you and Jack get separated from the group. As you walk alone down the hallways lined with hardened criminals, you wonder WHY THE HECK DID YOU LOOK FOR FOOD IN A HIGH SECURITY PRISON??

As you are about to collapse, you hear a somewhat familiar voice from inside a cell. He promises you food, if you let him out. You look behind you to see a bunch of keys hanging on the wall.

WHAT U GONNA DOOOO?

A. say, "dun dun dunnnn"
B. violently murder whoever is in the cell and take his food
C. free him with the keys
D. free him the American way (by blasting the lock with a shotgun)

[cherko]

D. free him the american way.

[chaos master]

You blast open the door with a very loud shotgun. Out bursts 50 Cent. He stuffs a small sandwhich in your mouth and runs out of the building. You follow him, with Jack close behind. When you exit the building, you see 50 Cent hiding by a wall. Helicopters and guards are looking for him. There is a $1,000,000 reward for his capture, dead or alive.

What do you do now?

A. help 50 Cent escape
B. betray 50 Cent

[Gotee_Man]

A and B, Help him then betray him :)

[chaos master]

You help 50 cent out and get a small dinghy (yes, a dinghy) and sail 'em outta there. Soon, your mind wanders and you think of the million that you could have had. eventually, you decide to turn back and you crash your dinghy onto prison island in the most obvious way possible. feelin; pretty betrayed, 50 cent attempts to stab you in the face with a switchblade, but the cops shoot it outta his hand when it is inches away from your face. They cuff 50 cent and you hold out you but you get cuffed too. they tranqiulize you.

when you come to, you are in the same cell as 50 cent

WHAT NOW, HMMM???

A.. for pete's sake, CALL MORGAN FREEMAN!!
B. hug 50 cent
C. get naked.
D. call jack for assistance
E. go back to sleep
F. PLAY SONIC RUSH!!
G. cry really big-like

[cherko]

A & D.........

[chaos master]

you call Morgan Freeman, who begins reciting "March of the Penguins" to 50 Cent. This lulls Fitty to a deep sleep. So then, you call Jack top get your butt outta there. He opens the cell, then lunges at 50 Cent and begins to tear him apart with bare teeth like some sort of violent doggie. At the sight of this, Morgan begins to cry in an uber fake, really corny manner.

What do you do?

A. console Morgan
B. kill Morgan
C. play a DOS game involving a hairy-chested gardener teaching you about how to grow freeze-resistant tomatoes and also involving a scientist with a mohawk who likes writing with chalk.
D. dance to Haddaway's "What is Love?"
E. have jack ingest Morgan into his stomach.

[chaos master]

^oh my god, pick one^

[DarthBrady]

Ok , I pick A and D. Console morgan by doing the dance of the haddaways "what is love"

[chaos master]

You attempt to console Morgan by singing Haddaway's, "What is Love?"

What is love?
Baby, don't hurt me,
don't hurt me,
no more!

After your performance, Morgan starts coming on to you and is feeling very romantic.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW? HUH?

A. make out with morgan
B. kill morgan
C. take morgan's wallet
D. Have jack eat morgan
E. Go on the Jerry Springer show

[DarthBrady]

I pick E, then D.

[chaos master]

You cannot stand Morgan any longer and you go to the Jerry Springer show (with Jack along for security.) After 36 seconds, intense cursing is present and the audience is cheering wildly. Morgan Freeman is distressed immensely and he attempts to kiss you. You dive outta there and then you sic Jack on Morgan. Jack breaks Morgan's neck in one swift blow and then eats his entire body whole. You tip a janitor a quarter as you leave the studio, which is now covered in blood. The crowd is hysterical.

***Morgan has died and has left your party.***

What do you do now?

A. Go out for hoagies
B. Stay for the next show
C. Battle Jack Black for party supremacy
D. get naked
E. Everybody dance now!

[DarthBrady]

Lets go for C, and if i beat him can i take control of his band Tenacioud D?

[chaos master]

While walking, you look over at Jack and pounce on him. He uses chaos powers to push you away and then he delivers a critcal hit to your gut and delivers the final blow with a kick to the head.

***Regretfully, you have died (again)***

You find yourself back in the underworld. This time, the famous nude model, Mr. Clean is now running the joint. He greets you and you take a seat at the bar and begin chatting while tasteful music plays from a nearby jukebox.

What in the hell do you do now?

A. marry Mr. Clean
B. kill Mr. Clean
C. order a drink
D. watch the game on the nearby tv
E. dance to the tasteful music
F. find a way outta there!

[DarthBrady]

After all of that... I'm gonna say C ten times then F (it may be more intersting if hes hammered!)

[chaos master]

You order ten drinks, and get increasingly hammered with every sip. Mr. Clean now looks like a french poodle, and you find chocolate pudding has appeared in your pants. Well, you deduce that hell is hell and you gotta get outta there! You get up from the bar and stagger around. In a couple of minutes, you find yourself in the bathroom. A tall old man directs your attention to the three stalls. Words are inscribed on the doors of the stalls. The one on the left reads "Darkness," the one on the right reads "Nobility," and the central one reads "Neutrality." He tells you to pick a stall and choose your destiny.

Well, what now?

A. Enter the stall of Nobility
B. Enter the stall of Darkness
C. Enter the stall of Neutrality
D. Screw this! Blast 'em with a shotgun!

[Crazed Dragon]

You order ten drinks, and get increasingly hammered with every sip. Mr. Clean now looks like a french poodle, and you find chocolate pudding has appeared in your pants. Well, you deduce that hell is hell and you gotta get outta there! You get up from the bar and stagger around. In a couple of minutes, you find yourself in the bathroom. A tall old man directs your attention to the three stalls. Words are inscribed on the doors of the stalls. The one on the left reads "Darkness," the one on the right reads "Nobility," and the central one reads "Neutrality." He tells you to pick a stall and choose your destiny.

Well, what now?

A. Enter the stall of Nobility
B. Enter the stall of Darkness
C. Enter the stall of Neutrality
D. Screw this! Blast 'em with a shotgun!So can anyone play? cause if so I go with D

[chaos master]

You stand in a state of deep thought for a few minutes. You then come up with the perfect verdict. You whip out a random shotgun and blast the old man. He falls to the ground, with a rather large hole in his chest. You turn to leave, but hear a noise behind you. You turn to see the old man ressurrected and lunging for you. You really must learn to stop challenging strangers to deathmatches. He knocks you onto the floor and transforms into a demon. You close your eyes in fear of the pain to arrive, but it never comes. You open your eyes and see that you are in some sort of dark abyss. It would seem you have stumbled upon hell's hell. You can see nothing except a small point of light in the distance. Having nothing better to do, you go over to the light. It gives you two choices: Life and Death.

What will you be doing now?

A. Choose "Life"
B. Choose "Death"
C. Screw this! Blast 'em with a shotgun!

[Crazed Dragon]

wheres that demon? that mother ****er is getting shot again! :devil: :mad3: :devil:

!!!C!!!

[BeeBaby]

so definatly C

[chaos master]

"SCREW THIS!" you shout, and you use you blast the light with a shotgun. Nothing happens at first, but then the point of light becomes larger and larger. You try to run, but a wall of fire makes escape impossible. You are swallowed by the light and can see only white all around you. You start sweating, as the heat inside the light is intense from the surrounding flames.
You went down,down,down
and the flames went higher.
And it burns,burns,burns...
You see a figure appear. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Hell no! It's JOHNNY CASH!! He tells you to grab his hand if you want to live!

WHAT???

A. Grab his hand
B. Attempt to pee the flames out
C. Screw this! Blast 'em with a shotgun!
D. cry

[Kristaps513]

You walk down the street to get beer but when your near market u notice sniper whos aiming at you what u do:

1. SCREW THIS!! He'l shot me anyway!
2. Take out your Ak4 and start shoting him...
3. Start crying and begging for mercy...
4. Show him finger and ran away...

P.S. i would definetly choose 2nd or 3rd.:D

[chaos master]

EH? This CYOA is one big story, and I write it all and give you choices, so right now, I'm waiting for someone to pick a choice..........

[Iceman]

Repeat with C.

[Kristaps513]

EH? This CYOA is one big story, and I write it all and give you choices, so right now, I'm waiting for someone to pick a choice..........

So only you write all the stories right?

[chaos master]

Yes, I do. You can start your own CYOA in a new thread if you like. I'll be back in a bit to continue this one.

[chaos master]

For a third time, you make the wise choice of blasting someone with a shotgun. When the shell collides with Johnny, it throws him back and into the wall, creating a Johnny Cash-shaped hole. You quickly escape through the hole. When you get outside, there is no sign of Mr. Cash. There is no sign of the ground, either. You look down to see that you are miles above the surface. Aw, crap....

What do you do?

A. Just fall. You're too lazy to do anything.
B. Attempt to catch a plane.
C. Use the parachute you randomly have
D. Screw this! Use a shotgun as a jetpack. (don't ask how....)