*dies*

[chaos master]

....
....





.......
*comes back to life and strikes you down as you enter thread*
HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!!!
IMA CRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZY!!!!!!!!!!!
*head asplodes*
*body collapses onto floor*

[Elric]

Not so fast! I was wearing my Mantle of Divine Intervention and cast Repel so.............Back at you!

[chaos master]

AHA! YOU HAVE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD!!!!!!!!
SUPA CEREAL ACID RELIEVES U OF YOUR LIFE!!!
</bad Yu-gi-oh parody>

[Elric]

Luckily, I just happened to have a pack of extra strength Tums antacid in my pocket. After crunching up the Tums and covering myself with them I roll up the tin foil liner into a tiny spear, chant a spell of everlasting torment and launch it at your eye. Take THAT foul miscreant!

[chaos master]

*throws grandmas at santa*
*santa jumps down from heaven and recives the spear in his butt, killing him instantly*
*kicks sand in the air*
*lights match*
KABOOM!:D

[Elric]

After flying through the air for the longest time I land on a yellow brick road with a bunch of little people laughing at me. I jump up with a snarl and start looking threw my pockets for my recall scroll. "I know I had one left. And stop waving those lollipops at me! I am a wizard you fools and I don't follow anything. I lead!"

[chaos master]

*appears and kicks u in the crotch*
*runs away*

[Elric]

Holding my, um, er....jewels I slowly sink to the ground. A shining sphere floats over the horizon, floats to the ground and starts to open up.
Expecting a beautiful woman to emerge I try to look as nonchalant as I can while lying on the ground with both hands between my legs and my face a sickly green color. Smiling my best and trying not to puke I look up as, stepping out if the sphere I see.....

[GamerZ]

... me *crushes everyone with giant hammer* i'll have to thank amy for letting me borrow this

[chaos master]

*uses MASSIVE fart as nitrous boost*
*escapes hammer*
*puts vile graffiti on hammer*
*listens to MC hammer*
CAN'T TOUCH THIS!!

[GamerZ]

amy's gonna kill you.

[chaos master]

(with a wry smile)
try me

[GamerZ]

i won't she will

[chaos master]

*is steath killed by Amy*
*collapses on floor*
ZOMG, i can see under your dress!!
*is smacked repeatedly and sat on*
ow...


note: check out my mom speech at supa nonsence randomosity for advice on how to be a good mom, like amy was to emerl!!

[GamerZ]

hehehhehehehheheheheheeeeeehhheehhhhhhhhhhheheeheh ehehhehehehehehhehehehhehehehehe dude yer a perv hehehehe she pwned you

[chaos master]

oh noes!
*de-pervs self by looking at Mario's naked buttocks*

[GamerZ]

ok you were beter as a perv......

[chaos master]

*plucks you from your throne and tosses u off a cliff, then saws off Mario's buttocks and makes you wear it as a hat for 100 years*

[GamerZ]

*rewind, jumps off throne* ok whatever, no more mario butox

[chaos master]

*blows up world and chews on a piece of beef jerky*

[Elric]

I was flying through space for the longest time. I was lost. Anyway, finally I got close enough to a planet to get caught in its gravity and started falling through its atmosphere, being sick of falling by this time I decided to do something about it and started flying instead towards this mountain top I had saw with the most beautiful castle I had ever seen. Landing on the steps I knocked on the front door. Trying to act nonchalant I leaned on the portcullis and put on my coolest smile. The door opened and I saw......

[chaos master]

me, in a dress, kicking you in the crotch again
*runs away*

[Elric]

Ah, but you see I had learned by this time to protect myself from this sort of thing happening again and had sequestered my crotch in an alternate dimension in a shrine guarded by Amazonian Tiger women known only as Phallusites. So, after the aforementioned kick and running away I followed you at an assured clear distance to see in I could find your base of operations and then plan and conduct stratagems as to not only the reasons behind but also how to stop these dastardly deeds.
We fled through the very fabric of time and space stopping only once at a little Bistro named Pats Splats ( I never learned the origin of the name and I'm rather glad I didn't ) for a nice lunch of soup and finger sandwiches.
Then the chase was back on! Spiraling down sideways we ended up outside of a grungy cave covered in what looked like an decades worth of graffiti
( mostly things like-No more nukes! Kill 'em all and let God sort them out and the peculiar Bleat if your hor.....ah, nevermind ) Any way I watched my nemesis enter the dark cavern and after waiting what I thought was a sufficient time I followed, only to find......

[chaos master]

that the cave was full of poison gas and splats! I have the only gas mask left in the universe. I open a portal to the place your crotch is and dive in, leaving behind a time bomb set to detonate in 1 second.

[Elric]

"The air is sweet!" I said to no one in particular. Having subjected myself to small amounts of differing types of poison gas over the past 150 plus years I had built up not only an Immunity to it in its various forms but it had actually become an acquired taste of mine.
Allowing myself a moment to breath in this sweet nectar I couldn't help but smile as I pulled my shades out of my pocket and waited for my automatic snatcher to fully take hold. These weren't just any shades. They were specially designed by the Phalusites for visitors to their special little plane of existence and, besides being a great accounterment to any wardrobe, they were needed because the light of their plane, while never actually bringing the temperature above a nice 70 degrees, shone like the wrath of 10,000,000
suns. Anyone caught in that monstrous light unprepared would not only be blinded but in the second it took them to get over their surprise the Phalusites would be on them like stink on.....

[chaos master]

...your corpse.
*bomb explodes and kills elric*
*gas enhances explosion and pain*

anyone with any functional brain cells would know that the chaos master cannot see light, but rather sees sound waves. And my brain blocks out all debilitating sound waves, so ha. I quickly find the shrine of your crotch and enter. The guardians there are amatuers at the art of chaos, and I quickly overcome them. To make matters easier, the blinding light renders them incapacitated and unable to fight, or even move. After passing gas over their lifeless bodies, I grab your crotch and kick it, killing it instantly. Suddenly, the shrine shakes and begins to crumble. After making a quick stop at the fridge, I run out side to find...

[Elric]

Me. I instantaneously give you a kick combo to the crotch that would make Liu Kang weep with shame. "Did you really think I would leave my real crotch behind with a bunch of bimbo's like that? They've been playing Limbo every since they thought I left!" I say as you writhing on the ground. "I sent my clone to follow you and have been waiting for this precise moment!" As I point an atomiser at your face that is quickly turning green because of the pain in your crotch I remember that old adage
'If your going to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.' Cursing myself for wasting so much time I pull the trigger and.......

[chaos master]

it explodes and kills you again.

I return to my usual shade of purple. I get a big fan out of my pocket and blow your corpse off a cliff. I return to Earth and proceed to murder each and every Steeler...at pinball. Having done that, I give them an atomiser to shoot me with, which, of course, asplodes and kills them all. I return to the chaotic hills of Chomtonas and begin practicing the chaos arts and eliminating all my weaknessess. Still, not a day goes by that I don't think of my old nemisis.

Is he still alive?
Is he watching from the shadows that are cast all about me?
What's for lunch? (It's Hungry, Hungry Hippos!)
WHERE THE HECK IS HIS CROTCH???

I ponder these thoughts for what seems like an eternity until:

*dies* 2: the sequel!

10 years after my last adventure, I am watching mindless television, as usual. I hear an odd noise at the door. I open it and find a parchment. The words on it are written with blood. It says...

[Elric]

You never find out because it was actually an atomic bomb that blew up as soon as started to read it and scattered your atoms across the universe where they were sucked up by a black hole and crapped out on the other side. With a hollow laugh my son, Indigo, Say's "Take that you cretinous cretin" ( my son, he's not so good with the witty remarks )
"For 10 years I searched! From beyond the Crab Nebula to the outer reaches of the Milky Way ( with Almonds ) in every space dive and back water pirate hole. Until at last, after giving up hope and watching afternoon soaps it came to me. The new phone book! And there you were and here I am and now I've had revenge for your killing my father. I've been burdened with caring for his crotch ever since you killed him! Do you know how hard it is to get a date when your stuck with a task like that?"

[chaos master]

*uses an extra life*
HA!! Only I have the code for this!!

*bashes Indigo's skull in with the new phone book*
*Elric's crotch falls out his pocket*
*smashes Elric's crotch with my combat boots*
*confirms that both entities and Elric are absolutely dead and if they come back, in any form, they will die due to randomosity*
*uses the new phone book to confirm that my visitors were the one and only Indigo and Elric's crotch*
*uses the new phone book and slaughters everything that has ever made contact with Indigo and Elric's crotch*

let's see you get out of this one;)

NOTE: Earth is in the outer reaches of the Milky Way! Is Indigo a little slow or somethin'?

[Elric]

*Flash Back*

When I pulled the trigger of my Atomiser the damn thing exploaded and blew my atoms into space.( Lat time I buy something at a store named Good Stuf Cheep ) I was floating around for the longest time. Just when I was getting sick and tired of it I saw a wondrous sight. A Black Hole! I had heard about these kinds of things before but had never actually seen one up close. Just when I decided to go closer so I could take a better look I was sucked up inside of it.

*End Flash Back*

I saw Chaos Master crapped out of the Black Hole start flailing around with a phone book and kicking his feet in the air while turning in five directions at once ( That impressed me. I had only seen someone turn four directions at once before and that was with the help of some kind of funny mushroom)
and basically gobering some gibberish.
I let him flail around for a while until he was panting and puffing and then I said ( In my most jovial vioce ) "Welcome to my humble abode!" Looking at me with wild staring eye's Chaos Master could only get a few " Wha? How? WTF?" and start waving his arms like a little monkey before I smiled and said " Yea, I knew it would take that son of mine, love the boy but he's not the brightest boy you know, a while to get around to blowing you up and sending you this way ( Did you really think you excaped? Ha ha ) so I took the time to learn all I could about this place.
Its quite fascinating really. It takes a little while to get the hang of how things work but I've got it down perfectly now. I even put that whole scene you just played out right into your mind just to mess with you. Yep, I've mastered this place. As a matter of fact, you could say, and all who live here do, that I'M THE MASTER NOW!"

[chaos master]

"Master of self obsession maybe," I reply, "...and also one of total ignorace." None lives here, not even demon creatures who bend to will. I know because I checked. Therefore, you are not even a master of afore said feats. All this time, I have fooled you. I created this thread to lure you to your doom. I let you believe you were winning. AND I AM THE REAL SLIM SHADY!! Not even once have you hindered my plan, and now I have this.

*takes out reset button*

I now possess the ultimate power in the omniverse! The shards of this were scattered throughout enternity, and I have found them all! THE PROPHECY HAS BEEN FUFILLED!!!!!!!!

*pushes reset button*

We are now back where we started from. You have no protection whatsoever on your crotch.

*crushes reset button, so u can't get it so ha*

*kicks you in the crotch so hard, it liquifies and oozes down your leg like melted "I can't believe it's not butter", thus killing Indigo before he was even born*

You fall to the ground, and I raise the sword of aeons and pierce you with it, thus turning you to stone and making the sea fall one more and then I grab the big power star and fly outta there and have a cake with the princess, then viciously murder her with my RCP90.

Yes that was taken from many different games...

[chaos master]

*is waiting*

[Elric]

Hey, I've had things to see and people to do. Besides I'm tired of us being the only two writing this thing. Let some one else take over.

[chaos master]

I wasn't waiting for you, I was waiting for someone to hug me...

sorry if I was being a bit of a brute, sir Elric

[Elric]

*Gives chaos master a manly hug and then backs away*
Umhrrmp, well, yea. Well then there. Um, I'm gonna go get a beer.

[chaos master]

*blushes*
Ummmm, right, see you around, mate!

And so our battle comes to a close. It was a great one, one full of excuses for surviving and sequestered crotches. What you have seen here will go down in history as the greatest conflict of all time. The two heroes, both alike in ability, but totally different in writing style, will be known as the fathers of the modern world, carving the universe so that we might have a humble existance in their wake. Some say, when you travel to the chaos master's old hut in the chaotic hills of Chomtonas, you can still hear Indigo's hollow laugh, and if you look up, the two brightest stars are chaos master and Elric, still in their epic struggle.

[MOGHARR]

*leaves an ending hinting at a possible sequel*

[Kit]

Why did you just bump an 8-month-old thread?

[chaos master]

aw hell naw. quit spamming guys